Common Challenges of Sharing a Bed with a Partner

Sharing a bed with a partner can be a wonderful experience, but it can also present challenges when it comes to getting a good night's sleep. From having different sleep schedules – one person as an early bird, the other as a night owl – to varying preferences for temperature or mattress firmness, there are many reasons why sleep quality might suffer when you share a bed.

Did You Know: 75% of Americans reported that sharing a bed with their partner has a negative effect on their sleep quality. [1]

However, with a few simple strategies and adjustments, you can improve the quality of your sleep and wake up feeling refreshed. Below, we will explore some practical tips on how to sleep better when sharing a bed.

Common Challenges of Sharing a Bed

Sharing a bed with a partner can be a wonderful experience, but it can also present challenges that affect sleep.

Here are some common issues and their impacts when sharing the same bed:

Different Sleep Schedules

When partners have different sleep schedules, it can lead to disturbances and can impact their varying bedtimes and wake-up times.

For instance, one partner may be a night owl, staying up late, while the other may be an early bird, waking up at the crack of dawn. This misalignment can result in one partner being disturbed by the other’s activities, such as turning on lights, moving around, or making noise.

Over time, these disturbances can lead to frustration and decreased sleep duration for both individuals, resulting in less restorative sleep.

Related Blog: Understanding Shift Work Sleep Disorder

Conflicting Preferences for Bedroom Temperature

Couples often find themselves at odds over the ideal bedroom temperature. One person may prefer a toasty, warm environment, while the other craves the cool, refreshing chill of a lower setting.

This clash in preferences can quickly turn into a nightly battle over the thermostat, leaving both feeling frustrated and sleep-deprived. Discomfort due to the temperature can lead to frequent awakenings throughout the night, further disrupting sleep.

On top of that, the argument itself can create tension, making it difficult to wind down and peacefully fall asleep. This frustration not only affects the quality of sleep but also spills over into the next day, affecting mood and overall well-being.

Related Blog: Benefits of Sleeping in a Cold Room

Disruptions Caused by Snoring and Sleep Disorders

It's no surprise that snoring is a common issue among couples sharing a bed and can be a significant source of sleep disruption. It can range from mild to loud and chronic, making it difficult for the non-snoring bed partner to get quality sleep.

Loud snoring, often an underlying symptom of various ailments or disorders, such as obstructive sleep apnea (OSA), can be a source of distress. OSA is a serious condition in which breathing repeatedly stops and starts during sleep. [2]

Did You Know: Around 39 million adults in the United States are affected by obstructive sleep apnea (OSA). [3]

Restless Movements: Tosses and Turns

Some individuals move a lot during their sleep for various reasons, such as restless legs syndrome, vivid dreams, or simply being light sleepers.

For example, someone might lie in bed, concerned that any movement or change in their sleep position could disturb their partner, resulting in restless sleep or, even worse, staying awake for an extended period.

These movements can be disruptive, causing the other partner to wake up multiple times during the night. As a result, it can lead to a restless night's sleep for both partners, leaving them feeling tired and irritable the next day.

Space and Comfort: Beds Too Small or Uncomfortable

Sharing a bed that is too small can lead to a lack of personal space, making it difficult for both partners to get comfortable. This can cause both physical and emotional discomfort, leading to poor sleep quality.

Also, an uncomfortable mattress that does not adequately support the body or inappropriate pillows that do not provide proper neck support can contribute to back pain, neck pain, and overall restlessness.

Rejuvenating sleep depends on giving ample space for each person to move comfortably and selecting a mattress and pillows that deliver necessary support and comfort.

Inconsistent Sleep Hygiene

Inconsistent sleep hygiene can significantly impact the quality of sleep for both partners, especially when their bedtime habits differ. For instance, one partner might find watching TV before bed relaxing, helping them unwind and fall asleep.

However, the light and noise from the TV can be highly distracting and disruptive to the other partner, who may need a quiet and dark environment to wind down.

The blue light emitted from screens can interfere with melatonin production, making it harder for both partners to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Similarly, scrolling through a phone before bed can cause disruptions. The blue light from phone screens suppresses melatonin production, and engaging with stimulating content can keep the mind active.

This can delay sleep onset for the partner using the phone and indirectly affect the other partner.

This can also interfere with the other partner’s wind-down routine, as the constant lighting changes and potential sounds from notifications can prevent relaxation.

Additionally, some people develop a dependency on watching TV to fall asleep, creating a challenging environment for the partner who requires silence and darkness. The background noise and flickering lights can disrupt relaxation and lead to poor sleep quality.

Differing needs for sleep environments can also cause arguments and stress, further exacerbating sleep issues.

Recent Poll: A National Sleep Foundation poll found that 60% of Americans watch TV right before bed, [4] and according to an LG Electronics survey, 61% of Americans fall asleep with the TV on. [5]

Open communication about sleep needs and preferences is essential to address these challenges. Partners should discuss their habits and find a compromise, such as setting a time to turn off the TV or phone, using headphones for audio, or introducing shared relaxing activities like reading.

Unequal Bed Sharing

Ah, the starfish sleep position. This is the partner who, perhaps unintentionally, takes up more than their fair share of the bed, leaving their significant other clinging to the edge or squeezed into a small part of the mattress.

This nightly struggle for space can be disruptive and exasperating.

The sprawling sleeper may be unaware of it, while the squeezed partner feels resentful and deprived of sleep. This can be especially troublesome for those who already have difficulty sleeping or need a certain amount of space to feel at ease to fall asleep.

Related Blog: The Scandinavian Sleep Method is a simple yet effective solution for couples seeking better rest. By using two individual comforters instead of sharing one, each partner can maintain their own ideal temperature and avoid disturbances from tossing and turning—leading to a more peaceful, uninterrupted night’s sleep.

The Pet Dilemma: Furry Friends in Bed

Many couples find it comforting and enjoyable to snuggle with their furry companions in bed, basking in their warmth and companionship. However, having pets in bed can have both positive and negative aspects.

Pets can be disruptive sleepers, often moving around, scratching, and even dreaming, which can disturb the sleep of their human companions. Pets tend to occupy a lot of space on the bed, leaving less room for the couple to sleep comfortably.

This can create a crowded sleeping environment, making it difficult for both individuals to find a restful position.

Lastly, pets can put off a lot of body heat which in turn significantly increases bed temperatures making it very disruptive to the quality of sleep for their owners.

Sleep Study: Not all cat or dog owners choose to let their pets sleep in their bed, but a study conducted by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine revealed that around 46% of pet owners actually snuggle up with their pets in bed. [6]

Benefits of Sharing a Bed with Your Partner

Although people often experience a decline in the quality of sleep when they first start sharing a bed with a new partner, there are considerable advantages to co-sleeping and sticking to the same sleep schedule.

Studies have shown that many couples report better sleep when together compared to sleeping alone. [7]

Beyond the romantic aspect of sharing a bed, there are several notable benefits:

• Enhanced quality of sleep
• Increased energy levels
• Faster onset of sleep
• Strengthened relationship
• Improved mood
• Better overall health

Sleeping with a partner can contribute to improved quality of sleep by fostering feelings of calmness, security, and comfort in both the environment and the relationship.

Achieving deeper sleep can also enhance mental health and mood, facilitating better communication and emotional regulation between partners.

Conclusion

Sharing a bed with a partner undoubtedly presents its share of challenges, from differing sleep schedules and temperature preferences to snoring and restless movements.

These disruptions can impact sleep quality and overall well-being. However, addressing these issues through open communication and practical solutions can lead to a more restful and satisfying sleep experience for both partners rather than a sleep divorce.

Couples can significantly improve their sleep quality by understanding each other's sleep needs and making adjustments, such as finding a suitable bedroom temperature, investing in a comfortable mattress, and establishing consistent sleep hygiene.

Ultimately, prioritizing both individual and shared sleep needs can help couples enjoy the comfort and connection of sharing a bed while ensuring they both wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the day.