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Help for Couples Who Argue About Sleep Temperature

Ana Marie Schick Feb 01, 2024

Help couples who argue about sleep temperature

Bed temperature, it seems, is nearly as bad as snoring when it comes to couples attempting to remain comfortable in the same bed night after night. Typically, one person is hot, restlessly removing the covers while disrupting their partner's sleep.

You're not alone if you have trouble sleeping at night and selecting the perfect sleep temperature for sleeping well. A study by The Better Sleep Council found that approximately 85% of people report having problems falling asleep when it's time for bed, women more so than men. [1]

Common Sleep Factors

Various personal factors can cause this problem, including money worries, stress, problems with sleeping hot in the workplace, etc. What if you're sharing the bed with a significant other?

Some claim that they have trouble sleeping with another individual because they are disrupted by the other's restlessness and ideal temperature for sleep.

If you're having the same issue with your significant other, you can implement various creative strategies to make your slumber together more peaceful.

Recently, more couples are claiming to be happier with what can be called “sleep divorce.”

Discover more about sleep divorce, including what it is, when to consider it, and additional insights, by reading Navigating the Complexities of Sleep Divorce: Strategies for Success.

In other words, sleeping in separate beds or rooms from your partner. About 30-40% of couples have tried sleeping in one bedroom with separate beds to make their sleep more restful. [2]

While the nickname for this phenomenon sounds more ominous than it is for some couples, you could also miss out on some substantial health benefits when you're sleeping separately.

Did You Know: A recent American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) survey indicates that more than one-third of people occasionally or consistently sleep in another room to accommodate a bed partner. The survey found that men are more likely than women to sleep in another room, with 45% of males reporting that they occasionally or consistently do so, compared to only 25% of females. [3]

Below, we'll discuss the benefits of couples sleeping together; it's important to consider that this can often be a more favorable option than a sleep divorce. Sleeping together fosters emotional and physical intimacy and can lead to better sleep solutions through mutual understanding and compromise.

Couples Sleep Statistics

Exploring the dynamics of couples sleep reveals some intriguing statistics. From how sharing a bed affects sleep quality to disagreements over room temperature, these numbers shed light on common challenges couples face at bedtime:

  • According to a recent study, 63% of couples sleep apart for most of the night. [4]
  • 58% of Couples Disagree on Optimal Room Temperature for Sleep [5]
  • Couples experience 50% more sleep disturbances when sharing a bed than when sleeping alone. [6]

Do You Disagree About Sleep Temperature?

Our sleep systems, featuring dual-side temperature zones, offer a perfect solution for couples with different sleep temperature preferences. Couples can independently set their ideal temperature, ranging from 55-115ºF, ensuring comfortable and personalized sleep conditions.

What is the Ideal Sleep Temperature?

What is the best temperature for sleep? Some say that the room temperature for the best sleep is between 60 and 68 degrees. [7] But let's say you prefer to sleep at warmer temperatures while your partner prefers to sleep cooler at night. Most experts agree that bedroom temperature can affect sleep quality.

Some may not know that there are products on the market that can help create an amicable sleeping environment while also saving money in the long run.

Why Does Sleep Temperature Matter?

Sleep temperature matters because it significantly influences the quality of your sleep. The right temperature can help your body relax and more effectively transition into deeper sleep stages.

If it's too hot or cold, your body struggles to maintain a state of rest, leading to restless nights and not feeling well-rested in the morning. Finding that sweet spot in temperature regulation is critical to obtaining a good night's sleep.

Did You Know? Cooler sleeping environments promote higher melatonin production, which helps with sleep onset and more restful sleep. [8]

How Do You Find the Ideal Sleep Temperature?

The bottom line is that there is problem-solving for couples with fundamental differences in bedroom temperature preference. If it's too hot to sleep with your partner, we can help end your sleep divorce!

Finding the optimal sleeping temperature can be a challenge for couples. However, several effective ways exist to achieve a comfortable and satisfying sleeping environment. One way is to experiment with different bedding options, such as using separate blankets or selecting breathable materials. This can help each partner regulate their own body temperature, ensuring a restful and uninterrupted sleep.

Read More: Why Do I Get Hot When I Sleep?

Another important factor in achieving a comfortable sleep temperature is to adjust the bedroom temperature to a middle ground that works for both partners. Choosing appropriate sleepwear can also help regulate body temperature and ensure a more comfortable night's sleep.

Sleep Study: Body Temperature and Sleep [9]

Above all, communication and compromise are key in understanding each other's needs and finding solutions that work for both partners. Discussing any discomfort or issues with the sleep environment and temperature openly and honestly is as important as working together to find practical and effective solutions. By working together, couples can create a comfortable and enjoyable sleeping environment that meets the needs of both partners.

Sleepme Bed Cooling Sleep System

Our Chilipad Dock Pro and Chilipad Cube sleep systems offer the WE option, which is perfect for couples who have different ideal sleep temperatures. These systems allow each person to control the temperature on their side of the bed. Whether you like to sleep cool or warm, you can select your personal ideal temperature on your side of the bed, ranging from 55 - 115º F.

If you like your side of the bed the way that it is, but your sleep partner needs it to be cooler or warmer, the perfect solution is to use just one ME system on the side of the bed that needs that temperature regulation.

Independent temperature regulation has been proven to lead to more comfortable and rejuvenated sleep for both partners, reducing the chances of sleep disturbances caused by temperature discomfort.

Sleep temperature tips for couples

Benefits of Couples Sleeping Together

Scientists have found that sleeping with a partner could be why people involved in close relationships tend to be healthier and live longer compared to those who are single or are not in a long-term relationship. [10]

Studies have shown that sleeping with a partner and creating that sense of closeness and security improves your health in various ways. [11]

Sense of Security

At night, snuggling with a partner can feel like a cozy safety blanket due to a combination of psychological and physiological factors. The presence of a trusted person can provide a sense of security and comfort, which may reduce anxiety and stress levels.

This can promote relaxation and a sense of well-being, contributing to better quality. Additionally, physical closeness can release oxytocin, a hormone associated with feelings of safety and bonding. This sense of safety and connection can make it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep throughout the night.

Not only does it help reduce your cortisol levels, otherwise known as your stress hormone, but it can also boost oxytocin levels, which helps ease anxiety and reduce cytokines, which can cause inflammation.

The psychological benefits we get from having closeness at night trump the objective costs of sleeping with a partner.

  • Dr. Troxel, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Psychology at the University of Pittsburgh

Makes You Happier

Sharing a bed with your partner has been found to have numerous benefits, including the release of dopamine and serotonin in your body, which can improve your overall mood and well-being.

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is associated with pleasure and reward. When you sleep next to your partner, your brain releases this chemical, which can make you feel more content and satisfied.

Serotonin, on the other hand, is a neurotransmitter that is associated with happiness and well-being. When you are sleeping next to your partner, your body produces more serotonin, which can improve your mood and even make you laugh more often.

So, if you want to feel happier and more content in your relationship, consider sleeping in the same bed as your partner.

Sleeping Tips

Increase REM Sleep

A study conducted in 2020 revealed that couples who sleep together, specifically, tend to enjoy around 10% more Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep and less fragmented REM sleep as compared to individuals who sleep alone. [12]

REM sleep is a crucial stage of sleep that plays a pivotal role in memory formation and consolidation. Therefore, the study concluded that sleeping with a partner could provide an additional boost to an individual's mental health, memory retention, and creative problem-solving abilities.

This means that sharing a bed with a partner could positively impact an individual's overall well-being and cognitive function.

Final Thought

If you're having issues falling asleep with your partner by your side, how do you make sleeping together easier? In general, try improving your sleep habits before bed — don't eat huge meals close to bedtime, and shut down electronics about an hour before falling asleep.

If these are rules that you already follow to help yourself fall asleep, but you are still having issues, your main problem might lie somewhere else (pun intended). If you both agree on a temperature, the cooling bed systems also have the potential to save money. Using the same amount of heat and energy as one light bulb, you won't have to worry about outrageous heating or cooling bills while you try to find your perfect temperature!

It's important to invest in your rest, and with our products, we are dedicated to helping you get your best sleep.

There's only one thing that should keep couples up at night, and to disagree about sleep temperature shouldn't be it.


[1] Sleeping Together May Be a Nightmare. (2017, April 9). Better Sleep Council | Start Every Day with a Good Night’s Sleep. View Resource

[2] More couples opting to sleep in separate beds, study suggests. (2013, August 6). CBC. View Resource

[3] Celmer, Lynn. “Over a Third of Americans Opt for a “Sleep Divorce.”” American Academy of Sleep Medicine – Association for Sleep Clinicians and Researchers, 10 July 2023, View Resource.

[4] “Sleeping Together May Be a Nightmare.” Better Sleep Council | Start Every Day with a Good Night’s Sleep, 9 Apr. 2017, View Resource

[5] “Study: Are Couples Who Sleep in Separate Beds Actually Happier?” View Study

[6] “Bed Sharing “Bad for Your Health.””, 9 Sept. 2009

[7] Baniassadi, Amir, et al. “Nighttime Ambient Temperature and Sleep in Community-Dwelling Older Adults.” Science of the Total Environment, vol. 899, 15 Nov. 2023, p. 165623, View Study.

[8] Xie, Zizhen, et al. “A Review of Sleep Disorders and Melatonin.” Neurological Research, vol. 39, no. 6, May 2017, pp. 559–565,

[9] Harding EC, Franks NP, Wisden W. The Temperature Dependence of Sleep. Front Neurosci. 2019 Apr 24;13:336. doi: 10.3389/fnins.2019.00336. PMID: 31105512; PMCID: PMC6491889.

[10] Whisman, M. A., Gilmour, A. L., & Salinger, J. M. (2018). Marital satisfaction and mortality in the United States adult population. Health Psychology, 37(11), 1041–1044. View Study

[11] Troxel WM, Robles TF, Hall M, Buysse DJ. Marital quality and the marital bed: examining the covariation between relationship quality and sleep. Sleep Med Rev. 2007 Oct;11(5):389-404. doi: 10.1016/j.smrv.2007.05.002. PMID: 17854738; PMCID: PMC2644899.

[12] Drews, Henning Johannes, et al. “Bed-Sharing in Couples Is Associated with Increased and Stabilized REM Sleep and Sleep-Stage Synchronization.” Frontiers in Psychiatry, vol. 11, 25 June 2020, View Study