Supporting Your Partner Through Menopause

Menopause is an extremely significant change in a woman’s life. Not only is it a change for a woman, but that change can be challenging for a caring partner as well. And as that partner, you have a major role to play in helping her successfully navigate through the major life change.

At first, it's understandably overwhelming. Your partner’s menopause experience might be a years-long journey full of surprises and frustrations. However, it’s difficult to predict, as no two women going through menopause are the same.

For the small minority, it’s easy sailing with little change in their bodies or life. But for most, the change can feel profound, and receiving support from a partner is ideal.

With a bit of knowledge and a whole lot of care, you’ll be able to help her through with triumph. Chances are excellent that at the end of it all, you’ll be loved (even more) for your compassion, thoughtfulness, and strength.

In this article, we'll offer partners guidance on how to support a loved one during menopause. It highlights the various physical and emotional changes associated with menopause and provides practical and emotional support tips.

Menopause Statistic: In a study, 74% of women surveyed reported that menopause had a negative effect on their relationships with their partners, with the 67% of respondents claiming it caused arguments and fights.

Understanding Your Partner and Menopause

Before we discuss tips on how to support your wife or partner, let’s discuss menopause. The average age of menopause is about 51 years old. However, menopause can occur anytime between the ’30s and ’50s (sometimes older). It's considered complete when women haven't had a menstrual period for 12 consecutive months. [1]

Perimenopause is the period before menopause in which the supply of mature eggs in the ovaries begins to decrease. At about the same time, the hormones progesterone and testosterone levels drop, and ovulation becomes irregular. Specifically, the drop in estrogen levels causes most menopausal symptoms. [2]

During menopause, the body experiences physical and hormonal shifts that can lead to not feeling like oneself. It is not uncommon for someone going through menopause to develop difficulties falling or staying asleep, feel moody, experience “brain fog,” or even notice they are suffering really dry skin. The range of symptoms that accompany menopause is long, and these are just a few of the many things that can happen during menopause.

More: If you're looking to learn more about women's health and wellness or stay updated with the latest news, we've assembled our favorite podcasts to add to your playlist. Check out the top 9 podcasts for women's health and wellness insights.

How to Be a Supportive Partner

Now you’ve got a brief understanding of menopause, it’s time to learn how to support your partner. How can you help your loved one through one of the most difficult times in her life? There’s a lot you can do to make things easier.

Educate Yourself About the Symptoms

Take time to learn about the symptoms and changes that occur during menopause. In a recent study of 96 husbands, [2a] most said they knew some knowledge about menopause—but mostly gathered information from their wives.

Did You Know: More than 25% of them admitted knowing little or nothing about menopause.

Empathy and Sensitivity Goes a Long Way

Showing empathy or sensitivity is crucial. Generations of “cultural misogyny” should be undone. We need to change the thinking that mood swings and other symptoms that go along with menopause are something that could be easily controlled.

Your partner is going through a very personal, individual journey that is caused by ever-changing hormones. Your relationship might be tested during this time. Patience, understanding and the knowledge that your partner is in uncharted waters might assist in the way you react to their changes.

Since the journey is so personal, we recommend your partner talk to their primary care or OBGYN about their symptoms. There are many resources for menopause and the symptoms that go hand and hand with this time of life. However, we know that eating right and exercising can help improve symptoms of menopause.

Several studies have shown that regular exercise significantly reduces menopausal symptoms and improves well-being. [3]

Tip: Help your partner prioritize their physical and emotional well-being. Encourage activities such as exercise, meditation, or therapy.

Open Communication

In many cultures, discussing menopause is considered taboo. Men, especially through certain sociocultural norms, are taught to pretty much stay away from the topic. It could also be that your partner doesn’t want to discuss specifics. (And that’s OK, too).

Menopause Statistic: Only 20% of women seek help discussing their problems in menopause.

Just as each woman goes through menopause differently, the kind or amount of support they need is also individual.

As said earlier, no two journeys are the same. If your partner wants to talk about their changes, we recommend that you just set aside time to listen, listen, listen. Listen without judgment. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings about menopause.

Tip: It can be a touchy subject, so allowing your partner to know you’re there and supportive can make a huge difference.

Share Your Feelings

It’s important to learn how to support your wife during menopause, but as a supportive husband and partner, it's also important not to tolerate any mistreatment. If your partner is acting unreasonably, expressing your feelings and how their actions impact you is okay.

Be clear and specific in your communication. Being understanding and empathetic is paramount, but it's not necessary to tolerate abuse without speaking up.

Get the Support You May Need

The husband's primary focus should be on his partner. However, it's essential to recognize that this situation can be difficult for you, too. You may find yourself on the receiving end of some of the symptoms, in uncomfortable circumstances, and feeling powerless. It's important not to overlook your struggles. It would help if you found ways to take care of yourself so you can also focus on supporting your partner.

Menopause Tips for Husbands

1. Help with household chores and/or child care duties so she can be alone and recharge.
2. Creating an environment conducive to sleep – e.g. cooling systems or weighted blankets. Both can help with symptoms, including hot flashes and night sweats.
3. Support exercise to eliminate concerns about changes in some women’s bodies. Finding something you enjoy doing together makes this tip easier!
4. Yoga/stretching is extremely beneficial for easing musculoskeletal pain. [4-5]
5. Meditation and mindfulness can be very helpful for managing stress. [6] We offer lots of great options on our website for mindfulness, breathing and meditation.

Many women choose to receive hormone therapy. Generally, health professionals recommend the above lifestyle adjustments as a first line of treatment. [7-8]

Read More: Menopause Diet: Foods That Help Reduce Symptoms

Recognizing the Symptoms of Menopause

All women experience menopause differently, with no two journeys being the same. Furthermore, symptoms could be affected by other aspects of life, such as stress level or illness.

Below are some of the more common symptoms that may occur:

Hot Flashes & Night Sweats

Also known as VMS, decreases in estrogen confuse a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, often referred to as the ‘body’s thermostat.’ About 75% of women in the US experience hot flashes as they approach menopause and a year or two afterward. [9]

Chilipad Menopause Study: A Menopause study revealed our cooling mattress toppers helped reduce vasomotor symptoms, including hot flashes & night sweats, by 50% & improved sleep by 30%.

Hot flashes and night sweats are common symptoms that women experience during menopause. These symptoms are also known as vasomotor symptoms (VMS), and they occur due to decreases in estrogen levels, which confuse a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, often referred to as the ‘body’s thermostat.’

The hypothalamus regulates body temperature, and when estrogen levels decrease, it sends signals to the body that it is overheating, causing the skin to flush and the body to sweat excessively. A rapid heartbeat, chills, and feelings of anxiety can accompany this sudden sensation of heat.

It is estimated that about 75% of women in the US experience hot flashes as they approach menopause and for a year or two afterward. [9] While hot flashes and night sweats are not life-threatening, they can be uncomfortable and disruptive to daily life, affecting sleep quality and overall well-being.

Helful Tip: Help your partent sleep cooler with the help fo the best cooling mattress pad, the Chilipad Dock Pro, or the original cooling pad, the Chilipad Cube.

Vaginal Atrophy

Vaginal atrophy refers to the thinning, drying, and inflammation of the vaginal walls, which can cause a range of uncomfortable symptoms. One of the most common symptoms is pain or discomfort during intercourse, which can make it difficult to enjoy intimacy.

Additionally, women with vaginal atrophy may experience an increased tendency for urinary tract infections and vaginitis, which can further exacerbate discomfort and pain. [10] The symptoms mentioned could be a result of low levels of estrogen, which may occur during menopause, after childbirth, or while breastfeeding.

Vaginal atrophy can be treated with different medications and therapies such as hormone replacement therapy, vaginal moisturizers, and regular intimate activity to increase blood flow to the area.

Musculoskeletal Pain

According to recent research, a significant majority of women, precisely 71%, are prone to experiencing musculoskeletal pain, which refers to pain or discomfort in the joints, muscles, bones, tendons, or ligaments throughout the body. [11]

This type of pain can manifest in various forms, ranging from mild to severe. Several factors, such as injury, overuse, or medical conditions like arthritis or fibromyalgia, can cause it. It can also affect one or multiple body areas simultaneously, making it difficult for women to perform daily activities and affecting their overall quality of life.

Decreased Testosterone

While testosterone is often associated with male, women also produce this hormone, albeit in smaller quantities. During menopause, levels of testosterone in women can decrease. [12] This change is a common aspect of the hormonal shifts that occur during this phase of life?

Cardiac Changes

Cardiac changes refer to alterations in the normal functioning of the heart. These changes can manifest as a faster heart rate and palpitations, characterized by a rapid, fluttering, or irregular heartbeat. As a result, individuals may experience symptoms such as dizziness, lightheadedness, numbness, and tingling in various parts of the body. [13]

These symptoms can be concerning and may require medical attention, especially if they persist or worsen over time. Therefore, it is important to seek prompt medical advice if you experience any cardiac changes or related symptoms.

Weight Gain

One of the more noticeable symptoms of menopause is weight gain, particularly around the waistline. [14] This change is often due to hormonal shifts during menopause, affecting metabolism and fat distribution.

Women may find that they gain weight more easily, which tends to accumulate around the waist, leading to a change in body shape. This weight gain can be attributed to a combination of factors, including hormonal changes, aging, lifestyle, and genetic predispositions??.

Sleep Problems

Many women experience sleep problems during menopause due to a variety of factors related to hormonal changes. Hot flashes, for instance, can be a significant disruptor of sleep, causing women to wake up frequently throughout the night.

Additionally, hormonal fluctuations can impact the body's natural sleep-wake cycle, making falling and staying asleep harder. [15 -17] These issues can lead to fatigue, irritability, and difficulty concentrating during the day.

It's important for women experiencing sleep problems during menopause to seek support and treatment options, such as hormone therapy or lifestyle modifications, to improve their overall quality of life.

Read More: Help for Couples Who Argue About Sleep Temperature

Mood Swings

As someone goes through menopause, they may experience significant changes in their mood. These changes can manifest as irritability, anxiety, depression, or mood swings. It's important for those experiencing these changes to be aware of them and to seek support from their partner or loved ones.

Together, they can learn how to manage these mood changes and find the best coping strategies, including menopause-cooling products. Additionally, seeking professional help from a healthcare provider, such as a therapist or counselor, can also help manage menopausal mood changes.

And what about mental health?

Well, maybe we need to think about that a bit. According to Johns Hopkins, several studies indicate that women experiencing menopause have no more anxiety or depression than women of similar ages who are menstruating.

Therefore, the stress of aging and changing women’s roles may be a contributing factor. [18]

Final Thoughts

Now that you’ve gotten all of this information from clinical research and healthcare professionals, keep the following helpful tips in mind.

1. Be empathetic and sensitive to the many challenges that your partner is facing.
2. Know that every woman’s experience is different.
3. Take active steps to help her feel like the well-loved woman that she is.
4. Respect her need to be alone...to exercise, meditate, or just chill.
5. Listen as she expresses her frustrations.
6. Make any changes she needs to get a good night’s sleep.
7. Support her decision to explore hormone therapy with a gynecologist (or another healthcare professional) that she can trust.

As difficult as menopause is, remember that things really do get better. By working together with a loving and caring spirit, you are sure to come out stronger as a couple. Keep in mind if your partner is struggling with severe symptoms, encourage them to see a doctor for medical treatment options.