Best Ways to Support Your Partner During Menopause

Menopause is an extremely significant change in a woman’s life. Not only is it a change for a woman, but that change can be challenging for a caring partner as well. And as that partner, you have a major role to play in helping her successfully navigate through the major life change.

At first, it's understandably overwhelming. Your partner’s menopause experience might be a years-long journey full of surprises and frustrations. However, it’s difficult to predict, as no two women going through menopause are the same.

For the small minority, it’s easy sailing with little change in their bodies or life. But for most, the change is profound, and receiving support from a partner is ideal.

With a bit of knowledge and a whole lot of care, you’ll be able to help her through with triumph. Chances are excellent that at the end of it all, you’ll be loved (even more) for your compassion, thoughtfulness, and strength.

In this article, we'll offer partners guidance on how to support a loved one during menopause. It highlights the various physical and emotional changes associated with menopause and provides practical and emotional support tips.

Your Partner and Menopause

Before we discuss tips on how to support your wife or partner, let’s discuss menopause. The average age of menopause is about 51 years old. However, menopause can occur anytime between the ’30s and ’50s (sometimes older). It's considered complete when women haven't had a menstrual period for 12 consecutive months. [1]

Perimenopause is the period before menopause in which the supply of mature eggs in the ovaries begins to decrease. At about the same time, the hormones progesterone and testosterone levels drop, and ovulation becomes irregular. Specifically, the drop in estrogen levels causes most menopausal symptoms. [2]

During menopause, the body experiences physical and hormonal shifts that can lead to negative feelings. It is not uncommon for someone going through menopause to feel like they are feeling much older and more unattractive and that their sexual appeal has diminished.

How to Be a Supportive Partner

Now you’ve got a brief understanding of menopause; it’s time to learn how to support your partner. How can you help your loved one through one of the most difficult times in her life? There’s a lot you can do to make things easier.

Educate Yourself About the Symptoms

Take time to learn about the symptoms and changes that occur during menopause. In a recent study of 96 husbands, most said they knew some knowledge about menopause—but mostly gathered information from their wives.

Empathy and Sensitivity Goes a Long Way

Expressing that she's not alone is critical. Tell her that although you can never put yourself exactly in her shoes, but you strive to understand her frustrations. Be ready to provide a shoulder to cry on anytime. [3]

Women at any age can be sensitive to issues with their weight, but during menopause, such feelings are multiplied. Tell her frequently that she looks great and that there are so many things about her to love. [4]

If your partner isn't interested in sex, patience is key. In addition to lower libido, there are many reasons that sex might be difficult, for example, vaginal drying/atrophy, fatigue, or insomnia. [5-6]

There are many ways to be romantic and intimate. Surprising her with flowers is always a great idea. Also, what about a couples massage, a quiet and romantic dinner, a lunch date, or a fun hike? Use your imagination, the opportunities are endless.

Tip: Help your partner prioritize their physical and emotional well-being. Encourage activities such as exercise, meditation, or therapy.

Communication

In many cultures, discussing menopause is considered taboo. Men, especially through certain sociocultural norms, are taught to pretty much stay away from the topic. It could also be that your partner doesn’t want to discuss specifics. (And that’s OK too).

We recommend that you just set aside time to listen, listen, listen. Listen without judgment. Eventually, it’s likely that she will open up and explain her struggles. This gives you added opportunities to help her out with practical solutions. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings about menopause.

Tip: It can be a touchy subject, so allowing your partner to know you’re there and supportive can make a huge difference.

Share Your Feelings

It’s important to learn how to support your wife during menopause, but as a supportive husband and partner, it's also important not to tolerate any mistreatment. If your partner is acting unreasonably, it's okay to express your feelings and how their actions impact you.

Be clear and specific in your communication. Being understanding and empathetic is paramount, but it's not necessary to tolerate abuse without speaking up.

Sense of Humor

Having a sense of humor can assist couples in navigating difficult situations. Maintaining a lighthearted approach can remind your partner that your relationship still has enjoyable moments.

However, avoid making jokes that may hurt your partner's feelings or cause them to feel like you're mocking them instead of supporting them. But make sure you refrain from using humor to insult or release frustration.

Get the Support You May Need

The husband's primary focus should be on his partner. However, it's essential to recognize that this situation can be difficult for you too. You may find yourself on the receiving end of some of the symptoms, in uncomfortable circumstances, and feeling powerless. It's important not to overlook your struggles. It would help if you found ways to take care of yourself so you can also focus on supporting your partner.

Developing Practical Solutions

Communication, respect, and sensitivity are paramount when it comes to managing menopause. The symptoms are so varied that the best solutions are individual.

Menopause Tips for Husbands

1. Help with household chores and/or child care duties so she can be alone and recharge.
2. Creating an environment conducive to sleep – e.g. cooling systems or weighted blankets. Both can help with symptoms, including hot flashes and night sweats.
3. Support exercise to eliminate concerns about weight gain. If it helps, both of you can exercise together!
4. Yoga/stretching is extremely beneficial for easing musculoskeletal pain. [7-8]
5. Meditation and mindfulness can be very helpful for managing stress. [9]

Many women choose to receive hormone therapy. Generally, health professionals recommend the above lifestyle adjustments as a first line of treatment. [10-11]

Recognizing the Symptoms of Menopause

All women experience menopause differently, with no two journeys being the same. Furthermore, symptoms could be affected by other aspects of life, such as stress level or illness.

Hot Flashes & Night Sweats

Also known as VMS, decreases in estrogen confuse a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, often referred to as the ‘body’s thermostat.’ About 75% of women in the US experience hot flashes as they approach menopause and a year or two afterward. [12]

Vaginal Atrophy

Thinning and dryness of the vaginal walls can cause sex to be painful, and there's an increased tendency for urinary tract infections and vaginitis. [13]

Musculoskeletal Pain

Research indicates that 71% of women experience joint and muscle pain throughout the body. [14]

Decreased Libido

Women, like men, have the hormone testosterone, although in lower amounts - which may be responsible for decreased sex drive. [15]

Cardiac Changes

These include a faster heart rate and palpitations leading to dizziness, numbness, and tingling. [16]

Weight Gain

This occurs particularly around the waistline. [17]

Sleep Problems

Hot flashes and numerous hormonal changes interfere with the ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. [18-20]

Mood Swings

People going through menopause may or may not experience changes in their mood. If they do, it’s important to be aware of them and learn how to manage them together as a couple.

And what about mental health?

Well, maybe we need to think about that a bit. According to Johns Hopkins, several studies indicate that women experiencing menopause have no more anxiety or depression than women of similar ages who are menstruating.

Therefore, the stress of aging and changing women’s roles may be a contributing factor. [21]

Final Thoughts

Now that you’ve gotten all of this information from clinical research and healthcare professionals keep the following helpful tips in mind.

1. Be empathetic and sensitive to the many challenges that your partner is facing.
2. Know that every woman’s experience is different.
3. Take active steps to help her feel like the well-loved woman that she is.
4. Respect her need to be alone...to exercise, meditate, or just chill.
5. Listen as she expresses her frustrations.
6. Make any changes she needs to get a good night’s sleep.
7. Support her decision to explore hormone therapy with a gynecologist (or another healthcare professional) that she can trust.

As difficult as menopause is, remember that things really do get better. The joys of helping each other through such life experiences can be endless. By working together with a loving and caring spirit, you are sure to come out stronger as a couple. Keep in mind if your partner is struggling with severe symptoms, encourage them to see a doctor for medical treatment options.