Calling all sleep-deprived moms!
Did you know that if you Google the phrase “moms are doing too much,” it brings back a whopping 1,830,000,000 results? That’s over 1 MILLION unique posts to answer the somewhat rhetorical question about whether you’re a mom who is overworked, tired, and ultimately sleep-deprived.
Why is that? Whether you’re a new mom or a mother of grown children, you’re on-call, 24/7 and it can be pretty darn exhausting! Plus, if you’re like me, you’re always wanting to put others’ needs before your own.
The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has reported on the widespread problem of sleep deprivation for new moms in the United States. For single moms who are “only” parents as well, Mother’s Day can often feel like just another reminder of the incredible uphill battle faced every day.
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Indeed, single mothers are the most sleep-deprived people in the country, according to CDC data. [1] Guess who came in second place? Moms from “nuclear” households with a partner are the second-most sleep deprived.
If the CDC wants us to prioritize sleep deprivation as a national health priority, the first people who deserve better sleep are moms. Below are a few tips on how sleep-deprived moms can improve their sleep quality over time.
Let's start with the obvious: moms have no downtime! It might feel impossible to prioritize sleep but it’s a very important step.
A tip to get more rest comes from someone who has been there, done that. Learning to practice good “sleep hygiene” was one of the best gifts I gave to myself and my family. Everyone has a unique “recipe” for optimizing their sleep. Sleep is how we spend about one-third of our days and deserves a prominent place in our daily self-care routines.
Sleeping Tip: Take some time and try implementing a relaxing routine throughout the day, such as taking a warm bath or reading a few pages of a book before bed, plus turning off electronics at least 1 to 2 hours before bedtime.
As a parent, you can’t prevent our kids from waking us up — unfortunately, that’s a big part of the job. But working toward a consistent sleep routine night after night will have long-term benefits.
Your sleep hygiene “recipe” may be different from mine. According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, making some of these slight adjustments could make the difference between sound sleep and a restless night:
Creating good sleeping habits is essential for your baby's physical and emotional well-being. [4] Don't forget that nighttime rituals are imperative, so make sure there is a chance to bond as a family at the end of a long day.
Finding time can be challenging, but experts recommend that you should try and take a nap when the baby is sleeping. Whether it's a short nap ranging from 10 to 30 minutes [2] or a longer power nap, they can help you recharge. A study showed that taking a nap can help reduce stress levels. [3] Learn more about the benefits of naps as they can help your physical and mental health.
Did You Know? A weighted blanket can simulate the feeling of being cradled, which is also referred to as deep touch pressure. It can help reduce the stress hormone cortisol.
The first way for new mothers to feel more well-rested is to choose which buckets to fill. This is advice that my good friend Danielle shared with me years ago — and it’s a practical approach to helping me find balance even to this day! She decided she had to pick her priorities. She told me that every morning she holds up five fingers on her left hand, representing which buckets will get filled that day.
For example, before she took control of her schedule, a typical day might have included: children, spouse, work, cleaning, chores, cooking, groceries, laundry, exercise, friends, reading, hobbies, or volunteering.
Wow, that’s a lot! Danielle once told me that fitting all of that into one day was causing her to have anxiety, insomnia, and massive mom guilt — it was absolutely impossible to try and squeeze all of those competing priorities into ONE day. She was juggling so much that nothing got done well.
Until one day she stopped and promised herself that each day she’d focus on no more than five things. Naturally, her children and spouse take the top spots almost every day — but the funny thing is, once she started “scheduling” her activities, she realized she’d never created a category for the oh-so-important category of REST!
(Take a look at her list again and you’ll see that she never prioritized sleep — no wonder she was so tired all the time!)
Now she feels happier, calmer, and ironically, more productive saying “yes” to fewer things and “no” to multiple activities that left her burned out.
Using Danielle’s advice, I also learned ways to get more done. Now when I want to exercise, I call a couple of girlfriends and we walk and catch up at the same time. When I have house chores, I put in ear pods and listen to an audiobook. (Okay, cleaning and folding laundry certainly aren’t glamorous but the ability to be transported to a fictional spot for 20 minutes definitely improves my outlook!)
Postpartum sleep deprivation is really difficult! New mom sleep deprivation is a shock to the system and disrupts your body’s natural circadian rhythm, which can often set the stage for a cascade of anxiety and worry to boot.
Motherhood is often called the hardest job in the world and I can’t say I disagree! Add in what we experienced after the last unprecedented and difficult year, and it’s become more stressful and more exhausting for so many families.
No one would disagree with the fact that moms definitely are tired! Quality sleep is important and helps you recover physically and mentally. A good night’s sleep helps you focus the next day. Good sleep can burn fat and calories and it helps to keep you healthy and strong.
As Katie Wells — a.k.a., Wellness Mama — famously said in her Healthy Moms podcast:
It's sleep — not nutrition or exercise — that's the foundation of all health.
Katie Wells
Founder, WellnessMama.com
In an episode with guest Shawn Stevenson, he discussed how to get optimal sleep, you want to rest and relax a few hours before bed so that you can drop cortisol levels as well as your core body temperature.
Let’s take a sleep quick quiz to determine whether you’re doing too much for everyone else. If you can answer “Yes” to most of these statements below, then it might indicate you’re a new mom that’s sleep deprived and in need of advice to improve your sleep quality:
New mom sleep deprivation is real. Postpartum sleep deprivation leads to stress and lack of sleep. If you’re a new mom who feels exhausted, frazzled, or stressed, it might be because you’re not getting enough quality rest.
It’s not too late to take back control of your time and improve your sleep, too! Every “chapter” in life is just a season and won’t last forever. While this chapter might feel especially challenging, the most important thing is that you try to prioritize your health and wellness.
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Learn more about our cooling bed systems to find out which is best for you and your needs.
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With the OOLER, you can schedule different temperatures with the mobile app, ranging from 55-115ª throughout the night, to get the best sleep possible.
You can set it and forget it with the Cube. This sleep system provides an easy way to sleep at your ideal temperature all night long.
After all, what your kids need the most is a healthy, well-rested, and happy parent. New mom sleep deprivation won't last forever. Make sure to take steps to care for the hero who does it all and makes it look easy—YOU!
Remember, if you need alone time or a nap, don't hesitate to ask for help by reaching out to family members, friends, or neighbors.
[1] Nugent, Colleen, and Lindsey Black. Sleep Duration, Quality of Sleep, and Use of Sleep Medication, by Sex and Family Type, 2013-2014 Key Findings. 2013.
[2] Brooks, A., & Lack, L. (2006). A brief afternoon nap following nocturnal sleep restriction: which nap duration is most recuperative?. Sleep, 29(6), 831–840. View Study
[3] Faraut, B., Nakib, S., Drogou, C., Elbaz, M., Sauvet, F., De Bandt, J. P., & Léger, D. (2015). Napping reverses the salivary interleukin-6 and urinary norepinephrine changes induced by sleep restriction. The Journal of clinical endocrinology and metabolism, 100(3), E416–E426. View Study
[4] Creating a safe sleep environment for your baby. (2004). Paediatrics & child health, 9(9), 665–674. View Study